Leaving the past
by Anthony Stark
Summary: SPOILERS FOR CH. 102. Do not read if you haven't read that chapter. Roy needs help adjusting, and there just so happens to be a boy with hidden love in his heart willing to try. M for later content.
1. Chapter 1: My Rescuer

A/N: This fanfics contains MAJOR SPOILERS for the Manga, if you haven't read up to chapter 102, do not read this fic. Also, this fanfic will contain Yaoi, boy on boy love, so…if you don't like, don't read. EdxRoy. I have no clue what's going to happen the next chapter, so I'm just making up that they won the fight, and have to get out of Father's underground chamber.

Chapter 1: My rescuer

"Roy…" Edward Elric murmured the name quietly, and Roy's head turned automatically, blank, pupil-less eyes that saw nothing locked on Ed's face, and the Fullmetal Alchemist shivered, holding back the pain he felt at seeing the man he'd secretly admired reduced to this. "I'll help you, let's get out of here." The Colonel shook silently, one hand still pressed to his face, as if he couldn't believe what had happened to him.

"Edward…" Ed trembled at the sound of his name, spoken in Roy's anguished tone, "Help me." He didn't sound as if he wanted help, but his voice had turned commanding, and Ed stood, and pulled Roy to his feet, dragging the Colonel's arm over his shoulders, and gripping his hand tightly, he wrapped his own arm around the man's waist, and Alphonse grasped the other side of the weary and broken Flame Alchemist.

Edward tried not to notice how often Roy stumbled, or the way he pointed out every step, "Watch out here, there's stairs we have to climb…that's it, just a few more, and we'll be on the surface." When they reached the brightness of Central Roy showed no indication he knew where they were,

"Are we…outside yet, Fullmetal? It smells clean." Ed nodded, then remembered Roy couldn't see the motion, and struggled to hold back sudden tears,

"Yes, we're outside now. Where's your house, Colonel? I'll take you home." He waited for directions,

"It's on South Street, number 534." The Colonel said quietly, "You may escort me there, soldier." Ed didn't react, normally he wouldn't have allowed himself to be called a soldier, but…Roy needed him right now, and it was not the time for angry outbursts.

"Yes, Sir." Edward replied, turning toward South street, "Al, go with Izumi to find Sig, and then get us a room in the barracks, I'll call you there." Alphonse nodded, looking sad, though his armor face didn't much show it, and hurried off with their teacher toward Central Headquarters, which they'd heard had been completely taken over by Major General Armstrong's troops. "Come on, Sir, let's go." Roy stumbled and tripped, nearly falling as Ed helped him onto the sidewalk, though the younger Alchemist still said nothing.

When they finally reached Roy's house Edward stared at it in shock for a moment, it was smaller and simpler than he'd expected, though it still looked as if it could house a small family, he lead Roy up to the door, dropping the Colonel's arm, he snapped his hands together, then touched the door, unlocking it with Alchemy. Roy's hands lifted, automatically trying to find something to stabilize himself with, his hands met spun silk, and tense muscle, skittering onto Ed's shoulder. The younger man took the Colonel's hand in his again, opening the door,

"The door's open, Colonel…" Roy stepped toward where he thought the door should be, but Edward pulled him back, "This way." He turned Roy to face the door, and walked through with him, careful not to put too much pressure on the Colonel's wounded hands. "Where do you want to go to?" Ed asked, hesitating in the doorway, trying very hard not to feel how warm the Colonel's body was next to his.

"Just…straight through the first doorway, my living room…" Mustang muttered, Edward tugged gently on his hand, heading for the door Roy had spoken of, and opening it,

"I…will you be alright alone? I…I need to call Al." Roy shuddered at the thought of sitting in this darkness alone, occasionally spots of light would penetrate his vision, if he looked where a lamp was supposed to be, but that was all, and he might have imagined them after all. "Never mind, there's a phone in here." The Colonel felt the teen pull him toward a couch, "Here, sit down." Once Roy had been situated on the couch Edward sat beside him, reaching across the older man to lift the phone from it's cradle, and dialing the barracks' number.

"Hello, Elric room please." He paused, waiting while the operator patched him through to he and Al's room, "Hey Al, sorry, I don't think I'll be coming over there tonight, I think I should stay…" Roy listened hard, trying to make out what Alphonse was saying, he felt Edward stiffen, "No, that's not why…he can't see…yeah, yeah…but, seriously, he…yes, I'm staying to help…I don't know…let me ask." Edward pulled the phone away from his ear, placing it against his leg to block out the sound,

"Colonel, will you let me take care of you…until you adjust to this?" Roy felt his eyes widen, he couldn't see Ed's expression, but he heard the longing in the Alchemist's voice, it was not pity.

"Sure, Fullmetal." He murmured, still struggling with the fact that he'd never see those expressive golden eyes, or the silken blond hair, bound in it's braid again, nor would he let his eyes sweep over the muscular chest, broad shoulders, and beautiful face of the teen he'd secretly fallen in love with.

Ed's voice returned to normal, and Roy assumed he was speaking to Al again, "Yes, mhmm, of course. You go ahead and rest Al, yeah I know… I'll keep in touch." The phone clicked as Edward hung it up, "Is there anything I can…get for you…?" Roy sighed,

"Some tea would be nice…" He said slowly, the couch moved, and he reached out automatically, his hands tangling in Ed's red trench coat,

"I can't get that tea if you don't let go, Colonel." Roy felt a warm hand grasp one of his, the other was encased in cold metal, but the automail was gentle as it pried his fingers off the soft fabric of Ed's coat, "It'll be ok, Roy." Then Ed was gone, the door swung shut behind him, and Roy realized he'd forgotten to tell Ed where the tea was. He stumbled to his feet, turning the wrong way in the process, and trying to find the door, he only succeeded in bumping into a side table, knocking the lamp from it, and falling face first into an arm chair. He struggled to right himself, ending up slumped halfway into the chair, his hands throbbed from the Fuhrer's swords, and his eye ached from straining them open, but he couldn't close them.

Edward grimaced when he finally found the tea, it was in the highest cupboard, on the highest shelf, completely out of his reach, he stood on the tips of his toes, fingers stretched upward, and still couldn't reach the damn box, he looked around, no-one was watching him, Ed bit his lip, embarrassed, "Stupid Bastard Colonel, you did this on purpose…" He growled as he climbed onto the counter, kicking his boots of along the way so that he stood barefoot on the counter, the tea was now a little below eye level for him, he lifted out the large box of assorted tea bags, and set it on the counter before hopping down himself, and tugging his boots back on, "Hmm, I wonder what kind he wants…" Edward wondered aloud, he sighed and turned to the kitchen doorway. As he turned he heard a muffled crash from the living room, and, forgetting the tea, he ran back to where he'd left Roy.

When he entered the room the Colonel was feeling his way over a chair, trying to right himself, and Edward swallowed hard when he saw the man give up and slump defeated in the chair, he backed out of the room, waiting a few moments before opening the door loudly, "Hey, what kind of tea did you want?" He asked cheerfully, as if Roy were his guest, and that was why he was making the tea,

Roy looked at him with those blank eyes again, and Ed felt pain wrench at his heart, "I…Jasmine…and, I'm sorry, I was going to…get the tea down, I should have…I mean, it was up really high, and I didn't mean for…" Roy gasped when a warm ungloved finger touched his lips,

"Shh, it's ok, I got it down fine." Ed said, all his anger subsiding, "Jasmine tea it is. And…uh, do you want sugar…? And how much…? And…" It was Roy's turn to shush the teen,

"Two sp-spoons of sugar." He said, closing his eyes and rubbing his aching fingers over them, he didn't know if Ed had left the room or not, so he just sat here perfectly still.

Edward tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for the water to boil, he'd set out two mugs from a safely low cupboard, both white, and coated the bottom of one with sugar, the other held two spoonfuls of the white granulated sugar Roy kept in his house. The tea kettle finally whistled, and Edward poured it into the cups, setting Roy's to the left so he wouldn't get them mixed up, he pulled himself up to sit on the counter until the tea steeped. Once the liquid had turned a deep gold he removed the tea bags, and clapped his hands, touching the mugs until the tea was cool enough to drink, he lifted the mugs, and made his way back to the living room.

"Here ya go." He said, working to sound happy, he watched Roy's hands reach out blindly for the cup, and guided it into Roy's hands, waiting until he'd grasped it to let go, "It's cool enough to drink…" He added, sipping at his own tea, which was extremely sweet, he watched Roy try to bring the cup to his lips and miss, spilling tea onto his chin and chest, Edward set his tea down, and settled himself onto the arm of Roy's chair, grasping the cup with one of his hands, he helped Roy's hands lift it to his mouth, without spilling, and the Colonel drank a few gulps of the tea before lowering the cup, Edward took it, and set it on the table, guiding Roy's hand to it, before getting up, and going back to the couch where he drank his tea in a few gulps.

"So, uh, it's late, you know, almost midnight, and we should get some sleep, I…I guess I'll sleep on the couch, and…you can shout for me in the morning." He rambled, standing and taking Roy's hands, they left the cup sitting on the table, and Edward led Roy to the staircase, "You're room's upstairs, right?" Roy nodded slowly, closing his eyes for a moment, trying to think calmly, but all he felt was fear, fear of spending the night alone in this artificial darkness.

Edward helped him up each stair, pausing when he stumbled, and lifting most of the man's weight when he needed to,

"First door again…" Roy said, Edward responded with a low "mmm." And opened said door, leading Roy inside. He helped the man to the bed, and began to rummage through the drawers of a large dresser for Pajamas. Once he pulled out a suitable pair, he brought them to Roy, blushing as he asked,

"Need help?" Roy could hear the tremors in Ed's voice, and blushed at the thought of Edward helping him dress…

"No, just…stay there. Hand me the pants so the front is facing you." Edward did as instructed, then turned away, blushing, as Roy struggled to strip his uniform off his shaky body, it was only when a soft thud told Ed that Roy had fallen that he turned back to the man, who was sprawled on the floor, looking thoroughly upset.

"Please, Colonel, let me help." Edward helped the man to his feet, blushing bright red as he pulled Roy's pants down, helping the man step out of them, then guiding one foot at a time into the pajama bottoms, he yanked the fabric over Roy's hips, then unbuttoned the uniform jacket and shirt beneath, he tried not to linger too long over the sculpted pale chest, dropping the uniform pieces to the ground, and slipping the pajama shirt onto Roy's shoulders. Nimble fingers danced across Roy's chest, buttoning up the shirt and the older man sighed. Edward jerked his fingers away,

"Did I hurt you??" He asked, alarmed, but Roy just shook his head, and he felt the hands continue their buttoning.

"There, that should do it, I'll…go sleep on the couch." Edward murmured, turning, Roy could hear the squeak of his leather boots as he spun on his heel, and he reached out, fear ripping through him as he felt the darkness press in around him, his hands once again tangled in Edward's jacket,

"Y-You can sleep in here…" He murmured, unsure of the words leaving his mouth, he wondered what Ed's face looked like at this moment, and he winced as gentle hands once more clasped his hands, but this time Ed made no move to leave,

"I…Alright." The teen's voice sounded frightened, nervous, "At least let me bandage your hands." Roy nodded meekly, closing his eyes and holding his hands out as soon as Edward released them.

Ed chewed his lip as he surveyed Roy's gloved hands, the blood had melded the white material to the wounds, and it would hurt like hell to get it off, "One second, ok?" He heard himself say, and he hurried into the bathroom for bandages and a wet cloth, in a bowl of water. He set the bowl on the floor by Mustang's feet, and pulled the dripping cloth from it, dribbling water onto Roy's left palm, he gently smoothed it into the glove with the cloth, then flipped the hand over, once the glove was thoroughly soaked, he eased the glove off of Roy's hand, the man winced, but kept silent, and Edward repeated the process with his other hand.

With that done the younger alchemist dabbed salve onto Roy's wounds, and wrapped them securely in bandages, tying them off gently in knots. "Where are your extra blankets?" Ed asked at length, Roy's eyebrows contracted, "So I can make a bed, on the floor, you know?" Roy shook his head,

"You can sleep up here." He could hear the pain and fear buried in Roy's voice, and though his cheeks burned, he couldn't bring himself to refuse, after all, he had loved this man since the day he turned fourteen.

Chapter 2: Demons at bay


	2. Chapter 2: Blushes Galore

Chapter 2: Blushes Galore.

Edward felt…awkward. He was laying in Roy Mustang's bed, eyes wide in the darkness, and Roy had just rolled over in his sleep, and placed on bandaged hand in a very distracting place. Edward's chest rose and fell rapidly, golden eyes staring into the darkness, chewing a hole in his lip, as Roy's fingers hung over his waist and brushed against the skin above his boxers. Ed had a feeling his face was bright red, it was certainly hot, and he was afraid to react, afraid that it would wake Roy, and then the man would see…well…feel…Ed's face twisted in pained sadness, feel the erection that simple brush of fingertips had ignited.

He moved slowly, slipping out from beneath Roy's hand, sliding his mismatched feet to the floor, shivering slightly, before standing. He hurried to the bathroom, latching the door behind him, and hunching over himself, slapping one hand out at the wall where the switch should be, his face burned red in the sudden blinding light, light that Roy would never see…

A stifled sob broke free, and Edward pressed his flesh hand to his mouth, sitting on the floor, he just wanted everything to go back to how it had been, maybe… he took a deep breath as the simple idea entered his mind, What if he did find a stone? An already made stone…and what if he could…get Roy's sight back? He bit his lip, trying not to let himself hope.

Despair washed through him again, would Roy let him? Would Roy go with them to search? How would he then take care of a blind man out in the wilderness? And what if they got attacked? Edward curled in on himself, insecurities bubbling just beneath the surface. A thump in the bedroom caused Ed to jerk to his feet, he wrenched the door open, Roy was once again sprawled across the floor. Edward knelt by Roy's side, touching his shoulder, and Roy calmed immediately,

"I didn't…I woke…you were gone…" Roy murmured slowly, nearly incoherent, Ed bit his lip,

"I had to use the bathroom…" He said quietly, "Come on, get back in the bed." He helped the man into his bed, and climbed in beside him, he was surprised, and blushed again, when Roy's hand quested out to take his.

"Good night…Edward…" Roy whispered, Edward took a deep breath,

"G'night, Roy."

The morning was more difficult, Roy kept trying to do things himself, he spilled an entire pot of coffee, and Edward burnt his fingers while cleaning it up, only to get hit on the head by the sugar bowl, which Roy really did try and rescue during its fall toward Ed's head. He stood up, grimacing, and stared at the mess of granulated sugar dropping out of his hair and all over the floor.

"Dammit…" He griped, wringing the dish towel out and getting it wet to wipe up the sugar. Roy was deathly still hands still poised to catch the sugar, eyes downcast, unseeing. Edward cleaned up the sugar, threw the towel in the sink, and steered Roy to a chair.

"Here, why don't you sit down, and I'll make more coffee…?" Roy put his head on the table.

Ed bit his lip and ran cold water over the still hot coffee pot to cool it so he could prepare it again. That done, he set it on the burner, turned it on, and sat across from Roy, reaching out hesitantly to run his fingers through the man's hair, "Hey…I'm not mad at you…and…it wasn't your fault…" He murmured quietly, he felt like his mom, cheering up Roy…

Roy didn't lift his head. Edward sighed. He heard the coffee pot start to shriek its displeasure, and hurried to lift it from the burner, pouring it into the two carefully prepared cups, and clapping once more to cool it, he poured creamer into Roy's, sticking his tongue out, and set it on the table, sipping his own dark coffee slowly. "It's…the coffee is right in front of you…about eleven o'clock." These were the directions Ed had fallen into, time directions. And Roy followed them well.

The older man lifted his cup, and guided it slowly to his mouth, making sure his lips were on the edge before he tipped it. Edward tried not to stare as Roy's Adam's apple bobbed down with each swallow. He shuddered and gulped down more coffee.

"Hey, if I…can you listen to the radio in the living room while I shower?" Ed asked, voice still extremely quiet, Roy nodded dejectedly. Edward slumped in his chair, feeling as sad and hurt as Roy looked, "I…you…I…" He stuttered, closing his eyes and pressing his hands over them until there was only darkness… this was how Roy saw…or didn't see… He pulled his hands away, shuddering at the darkness, and stood up, "I'm going to call Hawkeye, and have her take you to her house for awhile, then I'll shower…" He said, walking over to the phone.

The hot water felt heavenly, and Edward was loathe to leave the warm spray, eyes closed, darkness. He'd turned all the lights off, he would learn to see like Roy saw now, to better understand how to help him. Ed had called Alphonse, and his armor encased brother was downstairs waiting.

Ed dried his body, and pulled on his alchemically cleaned clothes, before he securely tied a blindfold over his eyes, darkness took over, and Ed struggled not to panic as he felt his way out of the room and down the stairs.

"Alright Al, help me. I'm blind now." He felt a leather gauntlet take his hand, and fought the terror at leaving the wall where he knew where he was. Alphonse chuckled, a hollow metallic sound,

"You really love him, Brother, to learn how to be like him." Edward blushed in his handmade darkness, and grasped the gauntlet of his brother's hand tighter. "I need to learn where everything is…so…tell me what I'm near, alright?" Ed said, taking a dep, fearful breath, and reaching out with his flesh hand.

His fingers met wall, and he bit his lip, "Kitchen?"

"Hallway." Was Al's correction.

"Is the kitchen to my left…or right?" Ed asked, already confused and turned around, plus he didn't live here…

"Left." Al said. Edward turned slowly, touching the wall with bare fingers, sliding his hand along the wall, trying to remember what he could no longer see. He breathed deeply, he wanted to rip the cloth from his eyes, but Roy couldn't, and so he wouldn't. Edward felt along the counter, accidentally letting go of Alphonse's hand, he knocked something to the floor, but ignored it, tried not to feel like it was his fault something shattered, and thought _I'll fix it…in a minute. _He felt strange, helpless, but he managed to find the stove, and lift a cup to his lips, testing… after he had found the table, and seated himself he pulled the blindfold off, eyebrows pulling down,

"Poor Roy…" Ed muttered as he clapped and fixed the sugar dish, which he had broken, and sighed, "Alphonse…I can…when I get your body back, I'm getting Roy's sight back too." He stated, Alphonse didn't seem surprised,

"What are we going to do…he's blind, brother, do you expect him to travel with us?" Al was logical, the thinker, sometimes he thought too much into things.

"If he wants to go…I'll take him. And I'll learn with him…so he can." He tried not to think of the times they had to run to catch trains, follow cold leads, walk along broken tracks…sleep in fields. He straightened up confidently, "It's up to him. I'm going to stay here, you should take a break while he gets used to it, go spend some time with Granny…" He pressed a wad of money into Al's hands. Alphonse hesitated, then took it,

"I hope you know what you're doing brother." Ed rolled his eyes, and smiled slightly,

"I'll call you, Al."

"Edward?" Roy called nervously, feeling his way into the house, eyes still straining, there was a spot of golden light in his vision, it burst into sight suddenly, as if it had come around a corner, a line reached out from it, and fingers curled around Roy's outstretched hand.

"Right here, Roy." Ed's voice issued from the golden light, and Roy was speechless. He could see Edward, only Edward, a burst of gold across black and white plains. His hand reached up, touched a swinging line of gold, found Ed's braid… The golden Edward shape shivered.

"I…" He wanted to tell Ed, but he didn't, what if it vanished anyway? He shook himself, and nodded, "Can you…the living room…" He didn't know what to ask, what to say, where to go. The Ed shape turned, still holding Roy's hand, and headed deeper into the darkness ahead, and Roy followed, surer, for the sight of something, anything. Sometimes amidst the gold would be static-like specks of darker color, making lines, shapes, in the gold, showing features, a twitch of the mouth, a movement of Ed's eyes. Roy was astounded.

Roy sat on the couch and watched the Ed shaped sit in the chair across from him, it was a pleasant surprise to Roy that along with this tiny vision of Edward's arrival in his sights, more than half his fear and upset had vanished. Edward was like a lighthouse, leading him.

Edward bit his lip, eyebrows contracting, Roy's eyes followed his every move, and Ed was getting severely creeped out by now. "Roy…can you…see me?" He finally asked, still chewing his lower lip.

"I…I don't know…I see…gold…where you are…like light…" Roy answered hesitantly. "I…I didn't tell you because…what if it vanishes like everything else?"


End file.
